i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
