i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
