Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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