I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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