someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42ā tv lol
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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