You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
