he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
