They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
