can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
