when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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