you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
