yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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