My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The feeling are messing with the penis
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
