Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
