Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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