i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
