ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
