Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
