omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
