I just saw a hot homeless man
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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