Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
