Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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