How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
