i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
