I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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