am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
