so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
