where am i from again
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We need to get me chipped asap
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
