Is it because I queefed?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
