if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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