And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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