woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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