On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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