week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize