I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
