There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
