Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
