you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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