is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Can I color on your dick again?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
