I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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