omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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