The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
