I molested 6 butterflies tonight
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
