Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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