whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
