Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
