this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
