my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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