Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
