Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize