we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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