The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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