yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
