dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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