apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize