i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
