okay pat passed out under dana's car
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Everything about him screamed your future.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
