How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
